i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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