she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
