the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Oh god it's open bar.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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