He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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