their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
