i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
