Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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