he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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