I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
