Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
