how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Sober January is a disaster.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
