guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
