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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
