That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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