HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
