My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm jealous of your bromance
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
