Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
