I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
