Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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