i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
