She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
