Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
50% drunk capacity currently
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
