i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
