Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
