your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
