It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The beer is more important than you right now.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
