So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
