you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
