Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
