At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
