Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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