Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
