i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
