she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
