Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
