life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
