i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
