Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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