dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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