and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
