don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
