dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
