When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
