from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
