Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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