I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
