Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
