The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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