We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
