maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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