The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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