I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
