I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
