Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
