How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
