3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
