We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
