woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
