Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
