Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
